Stupid Stick Legs

I wasn’t in the greatest mood today so, everything was making me angry. I didn’t even notice the time but as I was about to pass Asbury Park HS I realized exactly what time it was: 2:30pm. This means that traffic gets diverted onto side streets so the freakin’ hoodlums can spill onto the street near the school with out fear of being hit by mildly irate drivers, such as myself. AP doesn’t even mess around with those silly crossing guards; they have actual cops directing traffic. If you’ve been to AP before then you’d understand the need for REAL cops. If you haven’t been to AP then I don’t recommend going unless you bring your mace and/or your gat!

Anyway, as I drive onto the side street there is this girl with the skinniest legs I have ever seen. I swear she was like 6ft tall with praying mantis-like rods for legs. I wouldn’t even be commenting on her pegs but she was a total crack head. She and her bean pole legs were walking in the middle of the road while shoving a bag of Doritos in her crack head face. Most normal people would move to the side of the road when a car is approaching but not this long-legged freak. She keeps up this absurd behavior for a prolonged 3 minutes. Then, as I finally pass her and barely refrain from yelling obscenities, she throws the empty bag of Doritos on the ground and proceeds to give me a dirty look. In the age of reduce, recycle and reuse(or is it stop, drop and roll? I can’t be sure!), who the hell throws garbage in the road? 7 hours later and I’m still angry. I’d like to whack her Tonya Harding style…right in the back of those stupid stick legs.

My Famous V-day Date Application

With Valentines Day quickly approaching, I decided to bring back my famous blog from years past. Please anwser truthfully...After all; I don't want a frightening date! Welcome to my V-day date Application…

Cuddle, Snuggle or Spoon?
Please define the term "movie kiss":
List your life goals:
Do you smoke?
If I told you "I just want to be friends" what would you do?
What will we do on our "romantic" V-day date?
If you tell me "I'll call you tomorrow", will you? And what time?
Bike ride, Rollerblade or Jog?
White, Milk or Dark?
Can you cook? (Don't lie because I will find out! I am sneaky!)
How much "free time" do you have?
Your opinion on staying out till 2am on a work/school night:
Do you like to hold hands?
Text message entire conversations or just call?
Metro sexual?
How do you feel about dessert?
Please enlighten me on your feelings about your mom:
I'm a hard worker; Most Saturday's and two jobs in the summer… do you think you are in this category?
Boxers or briefs?
Coach potato or exercise?T

hank you for your application! If you are finished please copy and paste into a message or post it to me! We will be in touch…

Playing in Traffic

I hate to Say it but God must be punishing me! I went to Barnes & Noble today to buy a much needed toextbook. I'm not able to buy it online and save at least 30% because I have homework due in two days (Keep in mind..i'm angry to begin with!) So, as i'm waiting on line to pay I start browsing the "self-help" books. It certainly is a smart move of BN to put the self-help books next to the register. After all, it is resolution season! Anyway, I start skimming "Theres still time to change" and I get the worst paper cut of my life. I'm standing in line with blood running down my hand and thinking "wow, it sure isn't a good sign to cut yourself while reading a self-help book!" After that incident, I come to the conclusion that this shitty, 30 page, paperback, textbook just cost me $50. I'm suddenly feeling depressed; the way I feel the first week of every semester of college. So, I get a chocolate banana shake from starbucks and I plop down on the sofest chair I can find. I let out a huge sigh, stare straight ahead and what do I see directly in front of me? A book that I read in college when I lived in NY. That is just SO not fair! I've made changes and decisions on letting go of my unhappy thoughts. I don't want to think of that time in my life anymore or ever again yet, there it is...the one book I remember and its hitting me like a ton of bricks.

It just comes at an odd time because just yesterday I was saying to my mom "god must be punishing me" but really how much does he hate me!? It started Christmas eve when I went to get a routine oil change. They told me I needed tires and that they had a cheaper import that would save me a great deal of money. BUT I feel you get what you pay for and this is why I have credit cards. So $724 and a few sad, money-troubling tears later, I leave with four shiny new tires.

The ride home was super fun because when I went over 50MPH the whole car started shaking. They didn't balance my tires corectly and I had to waste another 2 hours to get it fixed. The following week my tire pressure light comes on. I check the air and one tire is extremly low. The light then proceeds to come on again this week (its the same damn tire again.) It looks like I have a slow leak in my brand new $175 tire!!!! I'm freakin' pissed! I'm freakin' tired! I'm freakin ready to ride the bus! grrr I'm just waiting for bad thing #3 happen lol Just Kidding! I'm not that angry. I was much angrier when the hoodlum from AP threw a rock through my back windshield! Money goes as fast as it comes. SO much for having savings! Perhaps I should invest some time into finding a sugar daddy and/or a bf? lol

In short, God, I'm sure does love me. BUT this simply must be a test of how much crap I can take before i start playing in traffic!!