Crazy Gymantics

I want to ram my car into people at the gym who fight for close parking spaces. Is there really a point to this? How about you park further and walk a bit? I believe we are all here for a common goal: exercise! Perhaps, I'm just getting old and a tad bit forgetful but I park in the same vicinity daily or I simply get confused on my way out! I figure that these parking lot fighters are probably the same people who think the gym is more of a club than a place for working out. We all know those chic's that wear make-up and have their have hair and nails done like it's Saturday night, everyday. They are there simply for a self esteem boost rather than the 25 calories they burn "jogging" on the treadmill. Of course there are also those guys that talk to EVERYONE at the gym. Dude, this isn't freakin' speed dating or a chat room, move on! These people clog up machines and free-weights like they own them! If we eliminated just HALF of these people, workouts would be SO much faster. Don't get me wrong, I fully enjoy watching these spectacles while jogging on the treadmill (And YES, I'm actually exercising.) In short, please save your awkward social hour for the weekend and let me evade any future love handles!

Now Pee This

Leaving the toilet seat up is like a crime against women! My lovely BF only left it up a few times BUT I had to yell at him and force him to come put it down. Sure, I could have put it down myself but it's the principle! It's appalling, hurtful and just plain GROSS! Do we leave USED tampons in the toilet?! I would never! In fact, leaving-the-seat-up shenanigans caused me to break it off with a guy once (OK...Maybe there were other reasons too!) It seems like bad manners to me; How could mom approve!? The argument I've heard is this: "Maybe I'm just forgetful." Well, personally I don't care to date someone forgetful even though, I'm sort of forgetful(How doublestand-ish of me!)

The other day I was introduced to someones fiancee like this: "This is my AWESOME fiancee, Joe." He seemed nice and then, asked to use the bathroom. Shortly after I went in and saw the seat up! I immediately labeled him as not-so-awesome Joe and went on my way! If you marry someone who leaves the seat up what else will he forget!? I dare not tread down that road! Enjoy your peeing! :)

Shenanigans, Schmanigans...Call Me Crazy!

It felt good to wake up at 6am today. It felt even better because not only did I clean my apartment and cook dinner, I also went for run (all before 7:15am!) It was nice getting back into running especially since I have a lot on my mind! Shin splints or not, I do enjoy running!

Anyway, yesterday was terrible. After a long day of taking care of a cranky newborn and a bossy 2 year old, I come home to a horrific car insurance bill. I used to pay just $995 a year and now, shitty Geico wants me to pay $2600. AND I didn't do anything wrong. In fact, I'm a ridiculously good driver (Even more so after "The Accident.") I don't see why shit from the past keeps coming up. Leave me alone Karma...I'm innocent!!! All I keep thinking is that I'm going to have to sell my beautiful, new car because I can't afford insurance. THEN, I'll have to find a job within walking distance. Which I suppose is doable since, just yesterday, my neighbor basically offered me a waitress job on the AP boardwalk. I don't know...I just can't picture myself serving people! OR worse: working nights and weekends! Well, I guess I've done it in the past during my many years at the candy/ice cream store.

I just really never imagined that at 26 I'd be contemplating a job that doesn't include my passions; Writing or photography. BUT then again, I really never imagined that I'd be living alone...in a crappy apartment, either! I thought for sure I'd have my sweet, little craftsman with a yard and dog (I guess there could be a husband thrown in there somewhere too... eh maybe.) So, seeing that my life is not what I expected, I guess a random (hopefully good money making)job isn't out of the question.

All these random thoughts of the past have to be the cause of my crazy dream last night. It might not of helped that I had a good 10 hours of sleep; perfect for random dreams! Lets just say I married someone from the past; the VERY distant past. The strange part was the fact that it was an arranged marriage. Oddly enough, since I met this character I said that I was going to marry him. EVEN dear JLE has always said that's how my life would end. It was only few years ago that I called off those shenanigans. So, why in this dream was I forced into it? STRANGE; very strange!

Overall, after last nights crying episode and today's early rise, I feel better. Perhaps I can go on with my not so typical life. :)

Cougar In The City

The other day I was walking with LL at the Seaside parade when some random guy jumped in front of us. Apparently, he wanted to converse with us but all I wanted was a beer (I was late and my beer intake was pretty low!) So, we giggle and walk around him. THEN he yells "You're told old for us anyway!" Now, why is it assumed I'm too old for a "21" year old? Could it possibly be that I just don't find your attractive?!? I later asked a guy we knew if I could pass for 21 and he agreed. I was also told just last week that "you couldn't possibly be 26...I thought 19 or 20!" Am I turning into a cougar? I have always joked with AK that we're cougars and superfoxes but now when I think back to that...we we're uh, 21 then! So, now I'm wishing I never said I was a cougar (I'll keep superfox because that is so ridiculously true!) Well, 30 is looming closer and closer and I'm still getting nervous! Off to buy wrinkle cream!!

This Is My Brain On...Crack?

My memory really bothers me and truthfully, It doesn't make sense at all. I'm starting to think that I might need professional help because my memory is driving me crazy. Here's the thing: I can't remember long term stuff such as the name of my third grade teacher. In my defense, it was at least 18 years ago but I know people who can remember smaller things more years ago! I also can't remember short term stuff such as what I was doing last Wednesday and I'd like to remember because... well, it was hump day! What if it was amazing? What if I did something worth while? Whatever...it's quantum physics... maybe Wednesday never even happened! Anyway, the point is that I can remember A LOT of other stuff. BUT there are things that would be better left forgotten!

I'm sure everyone gets this but isn't it crazy that you can hear a song and instantly you're in a memory? The other day, while driving, I heard a song and wham: It's July 2007 and I'm back to miserable. I'm struggling, lonely, over worked and under paid. All for a VERY stupid lovesick dream. If only 2007 had been a dream!

It's almost unfair when I hear this one song (which unfortunately, was a #1 hit and is STILL played all the time) because I'm always thrown back into December 2005; A VERY unsure time. Who the HELL wants to feel unsure? It's a terrible way to feel and yet, I'm there at least monthly.

Just today I had another one of these episodes. I was smack in the middle of Mother's Day 2008. AND no it is not my mother who invaded this memory. It was my lack of self control and frankly, my CRAZY lack of good judgment. Eh, it's a long story!

Why is it that so many good memories fade and the somewhat evil ones stay? Maybe this is some sort of punishment or perhaps maybe it's just time to lay off the booze! Naaaaaahhh, It can't possibly be the second one. ;) Mostly because that makes me look like an alcoholic. AND there is nothing wrong with alcoholics except for the fact that I'm not one. I'm a responsible drinker...........most of the time. Just kidding mom! aaaah

Taylor's Law

I took a trip down memory lane today. It was a pretty shitty vacation. In fact, I wish I'd gone anywhere else; Even to the dentist! Anyway, I was in search of a few old pictures to fill my photo coasters. Unfortunately, on the hunt I found 383838 pictures of ex's. Who the hell wants to look at those?! AND I'm thinking "Why the hell did I take so many?!" The question now stands: What should I do with these photos? Burning them in a huge fire pit first pops into my head. I would Especially like to burn the ones of a certain ex. BUT what if my memory fades? Do I even want to remember?! There has to be at least 383838 memories that I wish to erase from my head but only time will tell if they truly disappear. As for the random shots...well, perhaps I'll let them stay in my albums for now. BUT I propose a new law against relationship pictures; I'm OK with a 6 month waiting period before you're allowed to snap a picture. Sure, it's longer than the waiting period for a gun but believe me...these can cause way more damage!

I'm Not in Kansas Anymore

I woke up today, day 3 of unemployment, and decided that I needed to start reading again. I used to love reading! I used to love it so much that I could easily read a 500 page book in one sitting. So, I made my way to this library that I had once passed while jogging. After an hour of collecting books I made my way to the check-out counter. I asked for a new library card because I'm new to Monmouth county. I find out they charge $50 dollars for one and then, ridiculously sensitive me, starts crying. Since when do libraries cost money?!? I start explaining that I've always lived in Ocean county and it's never cost me a dime! All of a sudden 5 Librarians come out of the woodwork to subdue me (Or so they might hope.)Now, 6 nerdy book lovers are staring at me and one says "well, I was at a library the other day and it cost $75!" Is this supposed to make me feel better?! F you lady, books are free where I come from! AND why the hell are you traveling to other libraries anyway?! Don't you get enough boredom at work?? I storm out of there wondering why the hell I moved here. Monmouth county sure is snoody! I'm very confused because I thought rich people just bought books!