Thursday, November 11, 2010

Halloween 365

I stopped writing blogs but I thought it was fitting to start up again because you all have to meet CRAZY Christine! Crazy Christine is my neighbor. She has 3 teeth, a raspy voice and multiple boyfriends; She is like Halloween all year! I used to live on the 3rd floor and I rarely saw or heard her BUT I could always smell her! She must smoke 383383 cig's(and probably crack!)in the hallway and her cooking well, it smells like she's frying squirrel carcasses! A few months ago I moved to the first floor which was nice because (as you might know)odor travels up! However, what I did not take into account is the fact that her apartment is directly above my living room. She must be like 97 years old because she blasts her TV and radio quite loud 24/7. Also, she has a new WT "boyfriend" named Charlie who she likes to stomp, slam and scream at all day long. I almost didn't mind my pictures falling off the walls. It really didn't effect me much until I had a leak in my bedroom and I was forced to sleep in the living room. I tried ear plugs which do in fact, drown out Craig's snoring, but they don't make a dent in her noise pollution, I haven't said anything to her because the fact is, I'm moving in 2 weeks. BUT last night while sitting on the porch with my only normal neighbor, Mark, she started up a conversation with us. She was mostly complaining about her broken hand which was caused by punching a wall(I recall that night because I only got 3 hours of sleep.) I'm pretty glad to know she can't cook, button her pants or wipe her ass (Bitch, I miss my sleep!) Anyway, she said and I quote "Man, I have these really noisy neighbors next to me...It's driving me crazy." In short, I think if there hadn't been a witness, I would have shanked the crackhead!

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