Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Decision Smcision..I Don't Care!

You know you're getting old when the "older" guys you used to date are turning 30. Even worse yet: The MUCH "older" guys you dated are married with kids! What is up with TIME? Life really seems to be flying by. Is it quantum physics or is it just me? All I know is that time has changed me. I'm tired by 10pm, I'm always cold (sort of like your grandma,) and I'd rather stay in on Friday night instead of bar hopping. It seems like every week I find myself saying "OMG how is it Thursday already?!?" How the HELL do you slow down time?!?!?

Even with the ridiculously fast passing of time I have learned something. It doesn't really matter how smart you are, you're still an idiot! On paper I look decently smart. When I speak? Yep, still looking smart. Yet, I make the same mistakes 38383838 times. So does that make me only book smart? Eh, I don't think so. No common sense? Nah, I'm pretty sure I have some of that! So, this is what I think: Every time I'm about to make a really bad decision I say to myself "well, you only live once!" So, perhaps this isn't the best motto (It doesn't get me anywhere.) I mostly regret making the decisions that I've spent time fretting over. There might be something seriously wrong with me! Well, either way...there's always next year to screw up! ;) BYE!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Table For One Please

So, here comes my 26Th year on earth and my life...well, it isn't exactly how I pictured it. I imagined by 2010 that I'd have a career, a man and perhaps a two bedroom condo. Well, I have none of those. I do however, have rent that I really can't afford, a wedding that never was and zero job prospects as far as I can see. Life is looking really great these days!!!

Most people will give me their stupid words of wisdom such as "It could be worse," "be grateful for what you have" and my favorite "This is the best time in your life." First of all, I can probably say that you were 25 in 1980....correct? OK, so you really don't know what it's like being 25 in 2009 and this isn't the best time in my freakin' life!!!

It was just under a month ago, that I was starting to feel somewhat secure. Having someone to spend my time with, split my worries with and simply someone to always talk to seemed normal. Now it's just me and my kitties. Crazy cat lady here I come? Eh.. I don't know!

I worry about the future even though I should just take it one day at a time. I worry about health insurance, car payments and recently, finding the one. It almost seems odd that I could be tricked into thinking that I had found the one. A year ago I was fine with dating 2, even 3 guys at at time. Sure, finding the one was always in the back of my mind but it just didn't seem as important as having a good time. Oh how time has changed me.

I'm different and maybe, just maybe I'm not much of a loner anymore. Living alone sure is interesting. Cooking for yourself is about as fun as jumping out the window and the people on level 2 are crackheads. I'm investing in a SHARP shanking tool to use in the 3am crack-fight that is sure to occur! Perhaps I will start eating less or get a hobby or better yet a second job! Happy depression everyone!