Tuesday, March 24, 2009

There is This Whole Thing Known as Communication

Dating is like getting hit in the face with a brick. In fact, I’D RATHER GET HIT IN THE FACE WITH 38383 BRICKS! So, probably 90% of us single chic’s are looking for Mr. Right (the other god damn 10% are the only sane ones.) Well shit, I’m just looking for Mr. ALRIGHT! Just someone I can stand dating for more than a month, someone that I can spend some of my time with, someone with a few manners! It seems pretty hard to find but that’s because I’m half retarded. Yes, I can finallu admit my impeded sensibility. I blubber over the guys that don’t call me back. I snivel over the guys that don’t woo me. I whimper over the guys that don’t give me the time of day. Yet, I run like hell from the guys that do and say everything I allegedly want. I can’t believe I am saying this but the “nice” guys annoy the crap out of me. I want to scratch out my eyeballs when I’m on dates with them. So what are my options?

I give 838384 chances to guys that have done me wrong in the past. The trouble with exes is that fact that they’re exes! How many times do you give it a shot before you throw in the towel? I think I’m out of shots!

Dating guys in general, even if they are new, is tricky. There is this whole thing known as communication that you have to contend with. Let’s see there are e-mails, faxes, text messages, instant messages, e-cards, Facebook , Myspace, and even blackberry messenger! With all this fancy new technology, how could you not communicate with me? You don’t like those? Well, perhaps you’re not savvy in technology; well I’ve got the answer for you! You could very well send me a letter via snail mail or even easier, CALL ME ON THE PHONE! Communication went out the door when texting arrived on the dating scene. Instead of calling you the next day, last night’s date text’s you. Instead of calling you to ask you to dinner, he text’s you again. 4AM drunk dialing is out; That’s now a text too. Either way, I’ll have to admit; at least a drunken text is communication (even if it is probably him just trying to get a piece!) In the end, if he’s not communicating, he’s not feeling you! No one is ever that busy. DUH!

My mom says “find the guy who thinks you’re precious.” Well, I don’t know where the happy medium is. I can’t stand the guys that swoon over me and I can’t stand the guys that don’t. I don’t like a challenge. I don’t like being a challenge. If I like you, I’m going to show it. If I don’t like you, I’ll probably beat around the bush about it for a while but I’ll tell you eventually! Either way, dating freakin’ sucks! Sometimes being a spinster sounds like an awesome life plan.

In short, I would like to end this story with a writing segment I like to call: What never to say during an argument, serious talk or fight:

I know I’m a girl and I like to talk about issues/feelings within my relationships and I know most guys aren’t keen on talking about them. HOWEVER, I’ll let everyone in on a dating secret. Don’t ever say “I don’t know what to tell you” while talking to your significant other. It’s the same as saying “I don’t feel like taking the time to think about what you’re saying (aka I just don’t care.) This sentence boils me with rage!!!!

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