Bum's away

I finally got a call back from a job that, from all angles, looked promising. So, I went for the first interview and overall, it seemed good! I wasn't a big fan of the guy (also interviewing) in the waiting room who was hitting one me. I'm thinking come on dude, this isn't the right place to pick up chic's! Also, I've always been told "make sure your handshake it firm or prospective employers will look down upon you." Is it weird if I look down upon my prospective employer for his handshake? Anyway, I got a good vibe from the place despite limp, shady handshakes and shadier guys (after all, they haven't screened anyone yet!)

So, second interview day comes. I was told that I'd be shadowing a guy who does my future job. I was also told that it was a "full day," so be prepared. I was ready to go while begging god to let this be a legitimate job (perhaps a good paying one too!) Needless to say, God let me down today.

I still don't know much about the job except some speculation, when I'm thrown into the car with nelson (the driver...he doesn't speak much English) and Damien (the passenger... he's wearing royal blue slacks.) The non-American's car is old and smelly and DIRTY. I have nothing against old cars! After all, my first car was a 1989 stanza but I kept it spotless and lovely smelling. Anyway they seem nice enough so, I start asking down to earth questions about the job. I soon find out the ridiculous facts: it's door-to-door "free info," commission based and the hours are horrendous (9am-8pm plus Saturday!) I forgot to mention the fact that we're also on our way to somerset. I start to freak and demand that they drop me off at the next shopping center. One of the guys asks "So, the boss didn't mention any of this?" UH, NO! In short, they drop me off on the side of route 33. Meanwhile, my blisters and I finally make our way to a bench near wal-mart and I start contemplating my life. I start to cry (yes, I know...How embarrassing.) It's not like I'm crying over this shady job; It's this unemployed life that's bringing me down.

30K and 6 years worth of college and I can't find a job that makes me happy? I should have been a teacher or a nurse; Perhaps that schooling would have had better outcomes. BUT It's too late for me now. Then, I start thinking, who the hell would want to marry a forever-unemployed person? Can they even be loved? OK, So I'll be a spinster. Perhaps, I'll go on welfare? Oh wait, I think you need an illegitimate child for that. OK, I'll get knocked up. At least I'll have a kid that loves me, for me.

As my mind spirals out of control, Aunt B comes to rescue me. THANK GOD. I later head south for some much need mommy TLC. The first thing my mom says is "Did you know that your skirt is see-through? Everyone can see your cheeks!" SO, I showed my ass in an interview? I don't know what the lesson is here but hey, I did notice a lot of smiles today.