Friday, January 22, 2010

Snow Hunny,Tom Terd, Man Boobs...How Nice!

"Taylor Valentine?" says the lady at the front desk, "Someone has been waiting for you since 7am!" I'm a little scared and slightly intrigued since I don't know anyone at Jay peak! Needless to say, we ran over to the mart for the first of 3338383 beers to wait on my mystery man/roommate. I realllllly wish I had never found him because he turned out to be a creep! I didn't believe a thing he said about his life. He wasn't a marine or a train conductor. I'm pretty sure he used to be in jail and probably plays with toy trains and barbies! He kept telling us "I'm an insomniac, I don't ever sleep!" Well, after "injuring" his rib on the second day, my silly friends pointed out that "all he did was sleep/snore on the floor!" Anyway, he really sucked and the last 2 days were creep-free.

Our "modern" condo was hilarious. All 3 TVs were wood-sided with knobs and antennas! The TV in my room had a built in radio. We only had 13 channels AND no remote! WTF? I'm American and lazy; I don't get up to change channels! Hence why I watched 37 episodes of full house. I also loved the cassette player and the "surround sound" (aka 2 giant speakers, on shelves, on either side of the couch.) The BEST part of the whole condo had to be the mirrors on the ceiling of my room. I really hope those sheets were cleaned before we got into that whoopee-makin' bed!

I spent more time in the hot tub then I did on the mountain! LOL I love boarding but I love being warm and not to mention checking out my snow hunny 1/2 naked doesn't hurt either! ;)

I did go bikini snowboarding. Although, when I woke up that day , I was wishing I could have backed out of it! Unfortunately, the night before I was drunken nerd and told the world to come see my white ass heading down the mountain! The whole week is was 35-40 degrees and OF COURSE, on bikini day, it was 19 at the peak! I lasted just 3 minuties with nothing but the bikini on and almost 20 minutes (allllll the way down) with just my coat on. I have never been so cold in my life. I couldn't feel my legs for like 12 hours after the bikini run! I don't know what the hell I was thinking! People kept asking me "are you wasted or high?" And NO I wasn't either of those; I was just dumb!

There was also Tom "Terd!" He was the biggest creep ever! He claimed to be 35 but he was more like 55. He was the guy running this trip and offered to give us a ride to the hot tub. As we were pulling out of the parking lot he says "I know the hot tub is left but I just want to show you something real quick." I'm thinking " OH MY GOD...We're all going to die!" He was driving like a maniac down snowy, mountain roads and took us to a parking lot. He then proceeded to do donuts in the snow. The other girls didn't seem to mind this but I started to cry/have a panic attack. I was in a pretty shitty, multiple car accident just a few months ago so, I have a bit of post traumatic stress disorder. I told him this and kept begging for him to let me out; I would rather walk! Anyway, we survived but I hated the terd at this point. He decided to join as in the hot tub in only his tighty blackies underwear! GROSSSSS! I labeled him MAN BOOBS and hoped never to see his stupid face again!

Overall, I'm pretty bummed to be home!!! I miss being in the snow everyday and of course, my snow hunny! :(

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