Monday, March 15, 2010

This Is My Brain On...Crack?

My memory really bothers me and truthfully, It doesn't make sense at all. I'm starting to think that I might need professional help because my memory is driving me crazy. Here's the thing: I can't remember long term stuff such as the name of my third grade teacher. In my defense, it was at least 18 years ago but I know people who can remember smaller things more years ago! I also can't remember short term stuff such as what I was doing last Wednesday and I'd like to remember because... well, it was hump day! What if it was amazing? What if I did something worth while? Whatever...it's quantum physics... maybe Wednesday never even happened! Anyway, the point is that I can remember A LOT of other stuff. BUT there are things that would be better left forgotten!

I'm sure everyone gets this but isn't it crazy that you can hear a song and instantly you're in a memory? The other day, while driving, I heard a song and wham: It's July 2007 and I'm back to miserable. I'm struggling, lonely, over worked and under paid. All for a VERY stupid lovesick dream. If only 2007 had been a dream!

It's almost unfair when I hear this one song (which unfortunately, was a #1 hit and is STILL played all the time) because I'm always thrown back into December 2005; A VERY unsure time. Who the HELL wants to feel unsure? It's a terrible way to feel and yet, I'm there at least monthly.

Just today I had another one of these episodes. I was smack in the middle of Mother's Day 2008. AND no it is not my mother who invaded this memory. It was my lack of self control and frankly, my CRAZY lack of good judgment. Eh, it's a long story!

Why is it that so many good memories fade and the somewhat evil ones stay? Maybe this is some sort of punishment or perhaps maybe it's just time to lay off the booze! Naaaaaahhh, It can't possibly be the second one. ;) Mostly because that makes me look like an alcoholic. AND there is nothing wrong with alcoholics except for the fact that I'm not one. I'm a responsible drinker...........most of the time. Just kidding mom! aaaah

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